


Gentle Foothills

by JeanBiscuit



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 08:37:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9648335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeanBiscuit/pseuds/JeanBiscuit
Summary: He had wanted this.  He had to keep telling himself he wanted this.He had never expected for it to end this way.





	

**Author's Note:**

> back again with the Sad Times
> 
> don't yell at me too much

He always thought he had wanted this.   _ Dreamed  _ of it.  Kept it tucked close to the edges of his mind, a scenario to toy with and pick apart over and over again, tweaking how it would play out, how it would end, the expression on his  _ face  _ as the breath left his lungs.

He had  _ wanted  _ this.

A kunai barely grazed his cheek, and he winced at the sting, leaping backwards out of reach of the furious orange chakra billowing from in front of him.  Kusanagi was thrumming, quivering with the density of the chakra in the air, and his hand tightened at the hilt.  His breaths were coming faster, labored now, his chest feeling like it was trying to rip itself out of him.  

Naruto was in so much pain.

He could see it, in his eyes, the twist of his mouth, the sweat beading on his brow, the way his hands seemed to be warring with themselves, trembling and clenching and twitching uncontrollably as Naruto swayed, teeth clenched.

“Stop it,” he murmured, to no one, to someone, to someone miles away with a seal etched beneath their feet and chakra flowing outwards, away, up Naruto’s spine and clouding his brain until all he could see was red red  _ red –   _ “ _ Stop it!   _ I don’t – I don’t  _ want  _ –”

He had become troublesome to them.  That much Sasuke was certain of.  Someone – he didn’t know, didn’t  _ want  _ to know, because the thought churned pure hatred from somewhere deep in his stomach – someone had done this to him, someone had wormed their way into his head and moved his limbs for him, growing tired of his continued insistence that he wouldn’t kill Sasuke, he wouldn’t, he was going to bring him  _ home  _ –

That train of thought was abruptly dashed when Naruto’s body lunged for him, his resistance obviously having wavered for a split second, and Sasuke nimbly side-stepped, Kusanagi singing upwards to collide with the kunai in Naruto’s right hand.  The two blades trembled together for half a second before Naruto was spinning, leg whirling towards Sasuke’s face, and he batted it aside with his forearm, grunting as the sheer force behind it nearly sent him sliding back a few inches.  Another burst of orange chakra erupted from Naruto’s body, and he  _ screamed. _

The Kyuubi could only do so much, and without Naruto’s full mental faculties to control it, it was at a loss, blindly pulsing out power in an attempt to override the jutsu residing in Naruto’s skull.  It wasn’t working.  It was only making him more powerful.

Sasuke was sure they had been counting on that.

He stood at a distance, watching as Naruto stood, eyes screwed shut, body attempting to jerk towards Sasuke, only gaining a bit of ground before Naruto was forcing the jutsu back again, his mind in a desperate struggle for control with whoever it was that had decided enough was enough.  

Gods, it  _ hurt.   _ All Naruto could see, all he could hear, was red, and a mantra, repeated over and over and over again until he wanted to dig his own eardrums out of his head just to get it to stop.  

_ Kill Sasuke Kill Sasuke KillSasukeKillSasukeKillSasukeKILLSASUKEKILLSASUKE _

_ KILL – _

He lunged again, another bloodcurdling scream ripping itself from his mouth, and it sickened Sasuke somewhere deep in his chest, dredged up memories, memories he didn’t  _ want,  _ memories of warm ramen booths and campfires on missions and a loud, grating voice piercing the air, orange jumpsuit practically glowing in the sunlight –

_ I’m going to be the greatest Hokage someday – _

A ball of whirling blue chakra formed in Naruto’s fist, his feet were flying, propelling him forward, and the pull of Sasuke’s Sharingan against his chakra reserves was starting to become worrying.

_ I’ll make everyone acknowledge me – _

It would have hit him straight in the chest but his Sharingan caught it a moment too soon, and his hands were forming the seals for Amaterasu, he felt the urge tugging at his fingertips, in the back of his skull. 

_ They’ll start treating me like I’m somebody! _

The second Rasengan caught him square in the shoulder, and he was thrown off for a split second.  The chakra was still there, waiting, his shoulder was burning, burning, burning, but his fingers had stilled, and he didn’t know  _ why  _ –

_ Somebody important! _

The chakra flared and died somewhere at the base of his neck, the jutsu dying as quickly as he had summoned it, and he almost wanted this next Rasengan to hit him, just so this could end, just so this could be  _ over  _ and he could stop seeing the pain in Naruto’s eyes.

“Sasuke –”  He had stopped again, legs shaking, chakra bubbling and frothing around him, dangerously unstable, any more and Sasuke would be forced to use it, to survive, so he could avenge it, avenge everything, but as he stared at the blood dripping from the corners of Naruto’s mouth he didn’t know – he didn’t  _ know  _ –   “Sasuke, please, just –”

“Resist it, idiot!” he found himself yelling, voice cracking somewhere in the middle in a way that he really didn’t like.  “You’re gonna let someone weaker than you control you like that?!”

“You don’t – you don’t –” Naruto struggled for words, his jaw clacking shut and prying itself open again, whoever it was was watching, making sure he didn’t say anything.  “The Kyuubi’s chakra – the more –”  His jaw snapped shut with a painfully loud clack, and his snarl of frustration was lost behind his clenched teeth, but Sasuke understood all the same.

The more Naruto struggled, the stronger the jutsu became.  

“ _ Dobe!”  _ Sasuke yelled, brandishing Kusanagi at him.  “Who was it that said they would never give up?!  Huh?!”

“Bastard . . .,” Naruto breathed, his whole body slumping, blood dripping off the point of his chin.  “It hurts.”  He looked up, then, and Sasuke’s breath caught and rattled and died somewhere in his throat, because he had never,  _ never  _ seen his eyes that way.  So empty and brittle and raw, like an old wound ripped open and left to bleed, and the shockingly brilliant blue had faded to an almost storm-cloud grey, so dim that Sasuke wondered if this wasn’t just a genjutsu after all, if this was all some sort of elaborate trick to make him drop his guard – but the whispered request that followed this thought immediately robbed him of all doubt.  

“Please . . . please, kill me.”

_ It’s almost unbearable, isn’t it, the pain of being all alone. _

“Dobe – shut up – you don’t –,” Sasuke stammered, and Uchihas don’t  _ stammer,  _ but his feet carried him backwards, away, away from whatever it was inhabiting Naruto’s body that had just asked him – asked him –

Another memory, chakra lashing, a boy with hair as red as the sand dunes he was born amongst and eyes as dark as the beast clawing its way up out of his soul, Naruto’s bloody, broken, bruised face, the smile that tugged against those three stupid little lines on his face.  

_ I know that feeling – but now there are others, other people who mean a lot to me.   _

Sasuke’s heart was hammering in his chest, in a way it shouldn’t have been, Kusanagi was shaking in his grip and it wasn’t just the chakra anymore.

_ I care about them more than anything!  I won’t let anyone hurt them! _

“Sasuke, please,” Naruto repeated, his voice growing stronger for a moment, his eyes brighter, as he followed Sasuke’s stumbling steps, kunai slipping from his fingers and orange chakra stuttering.  “You  _ have  _ to.”

_ That’s why I’ll never give up! _

“It can’t end like this.  It  _ shouldn’t  _ end like this.  It should be different, I need to be  _ me,  _ and not someone else, so you have to end it, you have to end it  _ now. _ ”

The next memory struck Sasuke like a fist, nails digging into his sternum and twisting, prying something up out of the depth of his stomach that he didn’t want, didn’t need.

_ Save up your hatred – _

“You have to, Sasuke, or else . . . or else I could never forgive myself.”

He had wanted this.  He had  _ wanted  _ this.  He had thought of a hundred different ways he would do it, a hundred different ways he would finally beat him, finally show him that  _ this was his path and you are not going to sway me from it not until my brother is dead in the ground and if that means I will be too then so be it – _

_ Take it all on me – _

He thought he wanted this.  He thought this would be exhilarating, breathtaking, a song of their powers clashing together for the most glorious and final time, two rivals meeting for the conclusion of what they had been preparing years for.  He thought this was what he had needed, the final nail in his coffin so he could leave this world with no regrets, with every debt repaid, with every wrong righted.  

_ I’m the only one who can take it! _

No.  No no no  _ no,  _ not this, of all the things Naruto had beaten and conquered, of all the things he had done, one  _ bastard  _ had to be his undoing.  Because of all the things Naruto had triumphed over, none of them had ever been inside his head.  None of them had ever seized his thoughts like glittering golden coins and twisted them every which way into one unmistakable message that burned itself into the back of his retinas – Sasuke knew, to an extent, he knew it in the ache in the crook of his neck and the weight of the sword in his hand.  

_ It’s the only thing I can do! _

There was so much, there was so much more.  Sasuke had been sickened by how many times the vision of Naruto in white robes and that pointed white hat had flashed through his mind, but now it was all he could see.  The red script cascading down his back, the painted flames at the edge of his sleeves, the character for fire splashed boldly for all the world to see.  It was like a dream, a hallucination, but he could see the smile, the smile that made sunlight seem dim and used to make Sasuke’s teeth grit in absolute hatred but now all it was doing was twisting like a knife in his throat.

_ I will shoulder your hatred – _

“Stop it,” he whispered, but his feet carried him forward, Kusanagi’s tip dragging against the ground.  “Stop it right now, dobe.”

“I’ll come back for you, teme,” Naruto insisted, a small grin tugging at his mouth, and this really wasn’t the time for jokes and Sasuke finally realized that the burning in his eyes wasn’t because of the Sharingan after all.  “In some other lifetime – I’ll find you and I’ll kick your ass.  The right way.  Until then . . .”

Sasuke’s head dropped, staring at the sword in his grip, and he knew that Naruto’s blood wouldn’t look any different.  It wouldn’t leave any sort of unique mark on the blade that had already seen so much bloodshed, it would clean off the exact same way, it would drip onto the ground in the exact same pattern, and yet, and  _ yet.   _ He knew, he knew it wouldn’t be any different, but the thought of actually doing it, plunging the blade through flesh and muscle and sinew and watching the blood pour out, fountain in rivulets down his still annoyingly orange clothes and pool at his feet, the thought sickened him so much that he felt bile rising in his throat.

It was like the Chuunin Exam all over again, his body frozen, the taste of bile, his stomach roiling, heaving, except it wasn’t the same kind of fear.  This fear wasn’t the thought of being on the receiving end of death, but rather, of inflicting it.  It was a fear he had never felt, not in years, not since his eyes had grown hard and dark, not since his hands had grown calloused and his stride had grown firm.  Not since that mission, on the bridge, not since he had stared Haku in the eyes and saw himself in them.

_ I will shoulder your hatred and die with you! _

Not like this.  Not like this.  Naruto was smiling.  The chakra was less furious now, more painful, it  _ reeked  _ of pain so heavily that it felt like needles against Sasuke’s skin, and he didn’t need to be a chakra sensor to know just how hard Naruto was trying not to show how much he was suffering.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

_ Because I’m your friend. _

He barely felt it at all.  It was like his blade was gliding through air, not flesh, not bone, not the body of the person who he felt –  _ felt – _

Blood rushed from Naruto’s mouth in a coughing fit, like a red flower blossoming, its petals falling down his chin and staining his shirt.  He collapsed, and Kusanagi was falling out of Sasuke’s hands, tossed somewhere, elsewhere, somewhere he didn’t have to  _ see  _ the blood coating it.  Sasuke’s hands were clamped on Naruto, in that moment, his knees buckling with the weight, and he was kneeling on the ground, and he didn’t know why.

The Kyuubi’s chakra had abruptly disappeared, with only a faint tingle in the air left to remind him of its presence.  It seemed the jutsu had faded, too, with no chakra left to sustain its assault in Naruto’s head.  

His eyes looked blue again.  He smiled.  Sasuke didn’t know how teeth stained with blood could still look so white.  

“ _ Dobe,”  _ Sasuke snarled, hands fisting in the fabric of Naruto’s jacket, and he felt warm, sticky blood squelch against his palms.  “What happened to never giving up, huh?”

“I’m calling a . . . technicality on this one,” Naruto retorted, a chuckle trying and failing to make its way past the blood bubbling in his throat.  “I . . . demand a rematch . . . teme . . .”

“Shut up for once, will you?” Sasuke snapped, but the crack in his voice was obvious, and he couldn’t believe it had taken him this long.  “Just . . . just . . .”

His hands grasped at Naruto harder, and something lodged itself in his throat.  

He was cold.  Growing colder by the second. Naruto, the living, breathing, human furnace who was always blisteringly hot with heat both literal and figurative.  Naruto, the one who never needed extra blankets on missions in colder countries because he was like a mini-sun in and of itself.  

“Stupid,” Naruto snorted, eyes searching Sasuke’s face, and the burning in his eyes was growing unbearable.  “You should be smart enough to know that there’s nothing you can do. I mean . . . I’d like to say it isn’t your fault, but  _ technically . . .  _ “

“Don’t pin this on me, asshole,” Sasuke said, hair falling in front of his eyes as he bowed his head.  “ _ You  _ asked for it.”

Naruto laughed this time, and didn’t seem to feel just how much blood he was losing, or just how much pain he was in.  Sasuke wondered if this was nothing, compared to what he had been feeling before.  The thought filled him with murderous rage, but he tucked it away.  Later.  Not now.  

“I guess . . . you really do win this one,” Naruto breathed, and it seemed to be getting harder for him to speak.  His eyes found Sasuke’s, and stared resolutely into them.  “And here I was hoping . . . that after all this time . . . I would finally . . . win . . .”  He raised his hand, and bumped his knuckles against the side of Sasuke’s head.  “Don’t forget . . . what I said . . .”

“How could I forget something that stupid?” Sasuke snorted, and his mouth nearly twisted in on itself from how intensely his emotions were burning through him.  “If you’re coming back for me, then I’m sure as hell coming back for you, too.”

“It’s a promise, then . . . bastard . . . make sure you . . . don’t break this one . . . or I’ll never forgive you . . . you know . . .?”

“You have to be  _ alive  _ to keep promises, idiot, so stop dying already and –”  Another memory.  Slower, this time.  “And  _ come home.” _

Naruto smiled, and it was like Sasuke was 12 years old again.  

He hadn’t even noticed Naruto’s hand resting against the side of his face, until it wasn’t.  It thudded softly at his side.  His annoyingly blond hair was scratchy against Sasuke’s fingers.  

He had never seen the sky in someone’s eyes before.  He didn’t think he ever would again.  Maybe that was what it had been, all along.  Why the leaves had looked so green, why the sun had been so bright, why the ocean had looked so blue, when all the world had been before were red eyes and his parent’s blood staining the floor.

Naruto’s eyes drifted shut, and Sasuke’s world lost all its color.

**Author's Note:**

> i made my damn self sad writing this how fuckin pathetic honestly..
> 
> i legitimately wrote this at 4am at some point over the summer in the midst of my naruto rewatch. they're in love sorry i don't make the rules.
> 
> also i'll definitely be writing more for these two..not a continuation of this but definitely something.
> 
> the title is based off of the poem by prince ōtsu to lady ishikawa


End file.
